Prisoner of Fate
by Nicole1
Summary: SHEYLA fic. John and Teyla get kidnapped on an alien planet that is not as primitive as it seems. Torture later chapters, also John and Rodney friendship quite a bit esp. in later chapters. COMPLETE PLEASE R
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Shit," John whispered. He fired another barrage of bullets with his P90 around the tree he was hiding behind. "Teyla," he said while scanning the forest ahead, "That last explosive was way to close to Rodney and Ronan's position. I think they've made them."

"I noticed Colonel, but we are also pinned down and extremely outnumbered," she said while reloading her weapon.

Not to mention fucked. "I know. Look Rodney and Ronan are closer to the stargate."

"And you want us to draw the enemy fire and give them a chance to gate to Atlantis and bring back some help," she said over gunfire.

John smiled, "Am I that predictable?"

She finished firing another burst. "No, I just know how you think."

"So we agree then," he asked while checking their supplies. Not too good. Only two grenades left, and 1 clip for each of us.

"I think it is the best chance we have of surviving. John.," she said wearily.

"Yeah." Wiping sweat from his brow he handed Teyla her share of the ammunition and picked up his radio.

"Mckay, this is Sheppard come in," his heart skipped a beat when all he heard was static.

Teyla swallowed and held her breath for what seemed like an eternity.

"I'm a little busy at the moment Colonel, so unless you have a plan…."

John was so relived he ignored the sarcasm. "I'm glad you mentioned plan Rodney. You and Ronan are going to make a run for the gate. Before you start telling me how stupid it is just listen . Teyla and I are going to draw their fire and take the heat off of the two of you. When you get the gate don't wait for us, just dial and leave. We'll try to follow but….look just bring back reinforcements."

"That's insane, you two will be killed, there's got to be another way," Mckay's voice was on the verge of being panicked.

"Rodney if you two don't go, we'll all die and you know it, this is an order Mckay," he said with finality.

There was a pause, "Fine, but you better not get yourselves killed. You still owe me twenty dollars from last weeks poker game."

John shared a sad smile with Teyla. "We'd miss you too Rodney."

The radio crackled to life, "Just….be careful."

John closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "As soon as Teyla and I draw them out, take off and don't stop until your home."

"Understood, Mckay out."

John felt Teyla's hand rest on his arm. "Are you ready," he asked.

She loaded her last clip into the gun and nodded. 

"I'll throw my grenade to get their attention, once they start after us we'll head northwest, toward that tree line. Using the forest for cover we should be able to make it to those caves we saw about a half a mile from here. Probably our best chance of holding out until the others get back." He met her eyes, and saw all his doubts reflected right back at him. "I'm aware how insane this is, and that our chances are pretty slim but,"

"Colonel," she interrupted, "I believe it is a good idea under the circumstances. Besides, it could be worse, you might have had Dr. Mckay here instead of me," she forced a light tone to her voice.

"You always can find the bright side in any situation." He studied her mud streaked face and couldn't help but think she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. There's so much I wish I would have told you. Now I might never get the chance. John shook his head and focused. "Now before those two find another argument against this lets go."

Crawling on his belly through the tall grass he saw three possibly more of the aliens. You could mistake them for human until you saw their third eyeball on their foreheads. How the hell did things go so wrong, John asked himself as he pulled the pin and prepared to toss the grenade.

30 minutes earlier

Colonel Sheppard couldn't understand how such a primitive looking city housed a race of people who claimed to have technology they'd be interested in. acquiring. The architecture was about as advanced as Earth, about a couple hundred years ago. The dirt road that ran through the so called city was lined by wooden hut after wooden hut, no more than two stories high. No running water here that's for sure. So what they build shields or something but leave their city back in the dark ages. Doesn't make sense to me. I have a bad feeling about this place. And how did they learn to make projectile weapons, and not figure out indoor plumbing. I'm probably just overreacting.

" Hey Teyla, you know anything about these people?"

She turned her gaze off the colorful tapestry she had been studying and shook her head. "I am sorry Colonel, the Athosians never had any dealings with the Kitchak. I wish we had, they are very artistically inclined.

John glanced at the piece she was referring to. "You like that huh?"

"I do, the purples and blues give it such a serene effect, do you like it," she asked while caressing the cloth with her fingers.

John shrugged, "I don't know it kind of creeps me out. That huge eye in the center, makes me think it's staring at me." He smiled when she turned toward him, "Then again," he stepped closer to her, "Maybe it's staring at you, probably never seen such a work of art."

Her eyes widened and she ducked her head trying to hide the smile that graced her lips.

"John when we get back …"

"Colonel, Teyla you've got to see this. It's amazing. I've never seen such engineering. You never would have guessed this culture would be so advanced from the scans we took of the landscape. I just thought it would be another dead end, boring planet but was I wrong. There's….."

"Rodney for Pete's sake. Take a breath would you," John snapped.

Ronan stepped in front of Mckay. "They have an invention that can prevent the wraith from being able to drain your life force."

"I was going to say that," the scientist pouted.

"I'm sure you were… at some point. That sounds good Lead the way Rodney. By the way," he leaned close to Mckay as they walked, "Did anyone ever tell you, you have the worst since of timing."

"What are you talking about," he asked.

"Nothing, just you know…." he inclined his head toward Teyla who was talking quietly to Ronan.

"Oh," he looked at Teyla, "Oh… oh, so did you finally ask her, you know?"

"Well see I was going to, and then someone interrupted us," he replied.

"Okay well next time I discover something that could possibly have a life altering impact on our lives I'll make sure you're not in the middle of something before I tell you," he countered.

"You're right, hey speaking of women you going out with what's her name again," John teased.

Mckay's face turned beat red and he muttered something then sped up until he was a good two feet in front the Colonel.

"What is wrong with Dr. Mckay," Teyla asked having witnessed his discomfort.

John waved his hand dismissively, "Oh you know, it's just Rodney."

She flashed him a mischievous smile, "Nothing you said I am sure."

He put on his most innocent face, "Me, of course not. I'm Mr. Sensitive." He bumped against her gently with his shoulder.

"Behave," she said her voice playful.

"It's in that building there," Ronan's deep voice came from behind them.

A hut, no more than eight feet tall stood in front of them. The roof was made of a straw like material and there were no windows. The hair on the back of John's neck began to stand up. Something just didn't feel right about all this. No guards, and these people had to know how valuable this device would be to others. Didn't they worry about it getting stolen.

"Hey Rodney."

"Yes Colonel," he said stopping and allowing John to catch up to him.

"I'm just curious did you actually see this device or did they just tell you about it."

"Oh, they showed me a prototype of one of them. I didn't actually go in there and see it yet, they wanted the commanding officer there to make decisions whether or not we would be willing to…"his voice trailed off as Sheppard's face hardened.

"Rodney….damn it," he turned away from Mckay's confused face.

He was going to alert his team to a possible threat when the gunfire started. It was coming from the hut in front of them. Diving behind a rock he screamed, "Move, take cover in the forest.," while he layed down cover fire as he watched Mckay and Dex take off towards the trees.

"We need to move too Colonel," he realized Teyla was next to him firing as well.

Thank god the forest is so close and that those bastards are lousy shots, or we'd be dead already. He nodded and using a few grenades he and Teyla managed to retreat into the woods without a single wound.

They plowed through the muddy, foliage invested woods. Teyla tripped on a root and landed face first in a pile of mud. Bending to help her up he felt bullets fly over their heads and could hear them tearing the trees around them apart. "I think that fall of yours just saved our asses. You okay."

"I have not been shot if that's what you mean," she said struggling to get the dirt out of her eyes.

"Let's head for that large tree over there, it should provide some cover. Maybe we can locate the others."

Present Time

The grenade exploded showering John with dirt and leaves. Teyla immediately began firing from her position across from him. As the dust cleared he could make out the silhouettes of six Kitchak each well armed, and heading straight for his position. That got their attention. Move your ass John. He took off towards the cave constantly darting between trees praying they would provide some protection from enemy fire. He leapt over a fallen tree and rolled as he hit the ground. Within seconds he was sprinting again. Why aren't they firing? Sheppard hadn't heard a single shot since he'd thrown the explosive. God, what if they got Teyla and they're just letting me go. Shut up John and keep moving. She'll be waiting for you, just get there. He kept telling himself that until he found himself at it's entrance. Weapon raised he crept inside.

After a quick sweep of the outer area he traveled further in the cave. Licking his dry lips he whispered "Teyla, are you in here?" He took another small step and felt something brush against his foot. Squinting in the dime light Sheppard reached down and felt the ground, "What the hell?" He picked up the soft object and felt his throat constrict as he realized what he was seeing. He blinked back tears, No time for that now.

He tied Teyla's bloody jacket around his waist and stood. John turned to head back toward the opening and his face collided with the but of someone's weapon. He felt himself hit the ground as pain clouded his vision. He could only make out the outline of a tall, burly man. "I'm so sorry Teyla, should have told you how much you meant to me when I had the chance. The man raised what he could only guess was a weapon at him. He heard a loud buzzing sound and was blinded by light. His body convulsed, he felt as though a thousand scorpions were stinging every part of his body, then there was only darkness. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

John Sheppard smiled with content as he felt Teyla's arm drape across his waist. He moaned with pleasure as her tongue traced along the lobe of his ear. "Up early aren't we hon," John whispered as he turned to face her.

"I do not hear you complaining," she purred into his ear.

"Never," he said while he began to kiss her slender neck, she allowed him to guide her onto her back. He continued to caress her neck with his mouth, he continued traveling up until he found her moist, full lips. "Should I continue," he growled while giving her a sly smile.

"What do you think," she said her voice husky.

John kissed her passionately, and slid his tongue in her mouth eliciting a moan of pleasure from his lover. He felt her began to undulate underneath him as they continued to explore each other. He pulled away and studied her mocha face. Her lips were wet, and her face flushed , her eyes pleaded with him to keep going. He began to slide his hand up her silk top when she abruptly grabbed his hand stopping him.

"What's wrong ?"

Her face had changed somehow. _She looks afraid, no worried maybe._

"John," she said her voice sounded strained, "You have to wake up."

"What are you talking about, I am awake. Or did you fail to notice," he forced a light tone to his voice.

Teyla's arms grabbed his shoulders and she began shaking him, "Please, I do not know what I would do If I lost you, wake up Colonel," she sounded frantic.

John took in his surroundings, _What a minute wasn't I on top, how did I end up on my back._

John stared at Teyla and realized she wasn't wearing a silk nightgown but had changed into her uniform, minus the jacket. Her clean face now appeared dirty, and a large bruise marred her right cheek. He blinked and was suddenly aware of how hard the ground was beneath him.

"Teyla, what….," his words were lost as a wave of nausea assaulted him. He wrapped his arms around his waist and curled into a fetal position.

"It is okay, the nausea will pass. I too suffered the same when I woke."

Sheppard didn't want to open his eyes again. Memories were flooding back to him, being ambushed, sending Mckay and Ronan through the gate, losing Teyla. His eyes flew open, "Teyla, are you….," a gentle hand wiped the sweat from his brow.

"I am here Colonel, you gave me quite a scare. I thought….," she shook her head and plastered a smile on her weary face. "We are okay for the moment"

_Reality's overrated_. "Where are we," he asked still trying to clear his aching head.

"The Kitchak have locked us in some kind of prison. I believe we may be underground, there is no light except for torches, and the walls appear to be made of rock. They have not told me…." she paused and her brow furrowed. "Are you feeling well, Colonel?"

"Just a damn headache, and I'm having a little trouble focusing," he admitted.

She helped him to sit up and rest against the metal bars behind them. "It will pass, I believe it is a side effect of the weapon they used to disable us."

John shuddered at the thought, "Yeah, that was unpleasant."

"I have never seen such a weapon."

"Me neither, and I hope I never do again," he sighed and leaned his head back to rest on the bars. Closing his eyes he tried to clear his mind. Teyla remained silent for a few moments allowing him to rest. As the pain lessened he became aware of several things. One, the place stunk like shit. It smelled of burned flesh and death, a smell John was no stranger too. Bringing his hands to his temples he forced himself to open his eyes and take in his surroundings. And number two…Yep, were in a cell. _No bigger than my college dorm room. Dark, stinks, people screaming in the background. Probably being tortured. Yep definitely like being back in college_. "Somebody put me back in the dream," he laughed bitterly.

"I am sorry, Colonel. What are you referring to," Teyla asked.

John turned his head slightly and met her confused brown eyes. He smiled sadly, _Wonder how'd she'd feel if she knew I was having sex dreams about her?_ _Wonder if she feels the same_? "Well, maybe if we get out of this alive I'll explain it to you, but for now anything else you can tell me that might be useful? Did the others make it to the gate?

She shook her head, " I do not know anymore than you do, I woke up here a few hours ago, no one has spoken to me, then thirty minutes ago they threw you in the with me. They have not made any demands or explained why they…"

She paused and nodded towards the front of the cell. A large, very muscular Kitchak was standing at the door, watching them. _Where the hell did he come from_? Then John noticed the dirt path running in front of their prison, it led around a corner which he was unable to see around. Bet that's where the screams were coming from, probably the way out too. _Strange I can't see any other cages, guess were special._

John waved at the man, and put on his best fuck you smile. "Excuse me sir but could you tell me where the exit is, we really must be going. Important business you know how it is?"

Nothing the guy didn't even flinch, just kept staring at them. " You know it's rude to just stare at people. Hey I have a question, is it true what they say? Are three eyes really better than two?"

The guards middle eye widened and he flung the barred door open. He stomped over to John and grabbed him by his collar, using it to pull him a foot off the ground.

_Great idea Sheppard, piss off the locals_, he thought as he was slammed against the bars behind him. "Was it something I said," he choked out as Goliath tightened his grip.

Out of the corner of his eye, John saw Teyla's elbow flying at his captors ribs, the man's free arm shot out and caught her forearm. John cringed as his tormentor turned toward Teyla and growled before throwing her to the ground like a rag doll. _Who the hell was this _guy? His attention then refocused on the Colonel. He leaned in so close John could feel the heat of his rancid breath, "Don't you ever insult the mark of our God human," he spat out. " You are not worthy of the air you breath," to emphasis the point his grip tightened making it even harder to get oxygen.

"Kinen, let him go…..now," ordered a new male voice.

John got one last squeeze from three eyes before he was thrown to the ground, he immediately felt Teyla by his side. Her hand gently rubbed his back as he coughed and struggled to catch his breath. Sheppard allowed himself a moments comfort as her ministrations seemed to ease the tension coursing through his sore body.

"Are you okay John," she whispered in his ear.

"I'll live," he answered while rubbing his sore neck.

He allowed her to help him sit up, his eyes resting on the new arrival. Short black hair, tall, stood like he had a stick shoved up his ass. This man was the leader, the way he stood, and spoke were dead giveaways. He'd been trained in the very same techniques and mannerisms himself. _He's the one I need to get talking._

"So, are you the one I need to talk to, to get some answers," he tried. He was grateful for Teyla's hand resting on his back in quiet support.

"My name is Gwein, but you can call me Master," he said with an evil grin.

Sheppard felt Teyla tense next to him, _Yeah, you sense he's a real dick too._

Narrowing his eyes he ignored the bait and pressed on, "What's going on here ? Why have you taken us prisoner?"

Teyla chimed in, "What of our friends, are they here as well?"

"Silence," he said in a low, yet dangerous tone. "I will be the one asking questions, not either of you. Understand."

"I understand you Son of a…." he felt a hand resting on his shoulder.

"Perhaps we should hear what he has to say Colonel," she said her eyes pleading.

John nodded and took a relaxing breath. _She's right, calm down, that will get us nowhere."_

"Good, now we can get on with this. How things go will be up to the two of you. It can be very painless or," he paused for a breath, "very painful," he finished in a lower tone of voice. I am going to ask you both questions, you will tell me everything I want to know now… or you can refuse and suffer the consequences. "

John felt a knot forming in his stomach. "What do you want Gwein."

He smiled and took a step closer to them, "I want Atlantis.'

Fuck. "Well that's gonna be a problem Gweinee old pal. I'm afraid that's not possible."

Kenin stepped forward and backhanded John across the cheek. It hurt like hell, but he simply spit the blood from his mouth, and glared at the brute.

"I'll try this again, I want the gate address to your Ancient's city."

"Look, I told you….."

Teyla interrupted, "Technology, you steal technology."

A light bulb went on in John's head. He gave her a brief smile, "Of course, your primitive cities and architecture. It all makes since, you steal other people's inventions and claim them as your own. What, let me guess, you lure people here by promising a device that protects against the Wraith, and then bam," he yelled while slamming his fist on his thigh. "You stab them in the back and take whatever you want from them."

"I'm impressed, maybe your not as stupid as you look," Gwein hissed. "Then again you're the one in the cell aren't you?"

_Bastard_. "So what now, you keep us here until we decide to talk?"

"No, nothing that easy." He slinked over to Teyla and ran his fingers down her cheek. She slapped his hand away, "You care for this woman do you not?"

As he watched that asshole touch Teyla his heart began to pound in his ears, and he was filled with pure hatred. An image of himself ripping off Gwein's hand made him feel a little better. Before speaking he swallowed back any emotion and tried to remain cool. "She's on my team."

"Oh, I've been watching you two very closely. I think its more than that," he said his eyes never leaving John's.

"We will never tell you anything," Teyla said while fixing her gaze on Sheppard.

_Message received. Don't let them use me against you. Not that easy Teyla._ But he simply kept his face impassive and stared at Gwein.

"Many others have made the same claim. But as you have seen, their technology is now ours. As will your city and everything in it." He smiled showing off his yellow teeth, and then nodded at Kinen.

With inhuman speed Kinen reached out and grabbed Teyla by the hair. He began dragging her toward the door. John lunged, but was hit in the chest by an energy blast.

"Fool, did you think I was unarmed. Great little device this is, sends your muscles into spasms, immobilizes you for up to an hour. Very painful. Acquired it from a race two years ago."

Gwein's cruel voice sounded far away as John convulsed on the floor. He forced the pain to the back of his mind and began crawling towards Teyla. She was all that mattered. John felt a brief moment of satisfaction as she landed a punch square on Kinen's jaw, but he didn't even flinch. Teyla followed up with a bone crushing knee to the ribs, he smiled. Her gaze drifted to John, as Kinen pinned her to the ground. "Be strong," she mouthed.

Gwein stepped over John's shaking body and injected Teyla with a clear substance in her back. Her eyes remained locked with his until the drug took effect and her body went slack. Kinen hefted her over his shoulder, and began walking out of the cell.

"Teyla," he managed in between spasms. But John could do nothing but watch as she was carried away from him into god knows what hell.

Gwein bent down and turned John's face toward his. "Oh, believe me Colonel. You will talk."

John had lost most of his ability to move, but he used the last of his strength to spit a mouthful of blood and saliva on the bastards third eye. _Direct hit. That's for you Teyla_. "Consider that my tribute to your God."

Pain racked his body as a foot collided with his ribs.

"We will see how brave you are soon enough," he said and then John heard the door slam.

He closed his eyes and focused on breathing. _I've been tortured before, but this is different. It' not just my life on the line, or a team mates. It's the woman I love_. John smiled in spite of the situation. _So that's all it takes for me to admit that to myself, being in mortal danger_. His smile faded and he tried to summon the courage he knew he was going to need to survive this. _Forgive me Teyla, I don't know if I'm strong enough to let you die._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three 

"Wake up pretty girl." Teyla felt someone's hot breath mixed with spittle brush against her sore right cheek. One of the many bruises she'd be feeling for days. They wanted her to wake up, but the person's voice seemed to come from miles away. The closer she became to lucidity the more her head pounded. She felt herself begin to slip back into oblivion, and she welcomed it. There she was safe, no pain, no screaming, no cells. In the darkness she could be left alone, she could forget the haunted and terrified look in John Sheppard's eyes as he'd convulsed on the floor. She was so close to forgetting…_No, he needs you to be strong, to fight back, not just lie here and sleep. He needs me to stay alive….for both our sakes._

Consciousness proved to be quite elusive. Crawling out of a bog of quicksand would have been easier. Every time she thought she reached the surface, she was drug back down. But Teyla was not the yielding type. She fought, and after what seemed like days had passed, she became aware of voices in the distance. She could feel a cold, grainy substance against the left side of her face, and smell something earthy. Dirt or clay maybe. As she cracked open an eye it took all her control not to scream. The dim light penetrated her skull like an ice pick. Much to her relief the pain began to fad to a dull ache within moments. It must be a side effect of whatever they gave me. Teyla rubbed her throbbing temples with her right hand. The other seemed to be pinned beneath something. She wiggled her fingers and had to stifle a bitter laugh. _You fool, you are laying on it_.. Shifting her weight, she slid her numb arm out from under her side and began rotating her wrist until most of the feeling had returned. Not wanting to chance another splitting headache she reached out with her other finely tuned senses as her father had taught her many years ago, when she was still a child in many ways.

_"We may not always have our sight to rely on daughter, you must learn to see in other ways."_

_"I know father, total awareness only comes from utilizing all of our bodies senses. I just do not see how this will ever help me. If the Wraith come, will they not just pluck us off the ground into their vessels. How can being able to smell them really be of any assistance."_

_Her father smiled and bent down to meet his stubborn child's eyes. "Someday you will lead our people Teyla, I trust as you grow older you will understand my teachings."_

_"Yes father. But that will not be for many years."_

_He reached out and stroked her cheek. "I hope so, but we never know what the future may bring, so you must prepare."_

_"I do not want to sit still and listen to the sounds of the village. I want to travel and explore our world. Maybe even see others."_

_"If anyone can Teyla, it is you. You are too headstrong to be denied anything if you want it enough. But for now, keep your mind here."_

_Teyla felt a surge of pride. Her father believed in her. "Okay father, you can teach me"  
He grinned, "Good." He gave her a mischievous smile, "You never know, perhaps you may even find a husband in your travels."_

_"Father…"_

Teyla basked in the warmth of the memory. _Well father, let us see how much I learned._

_No gag, which means they do not care if I call out. Probably no one around who either could or would want to help anyway. Grounds hard and gritty, so I am most likely on a dirt floor, which would explain the smell. Can not move my legs to far at the ankles, so I have been bound. My arms are free, might be able to use that to my advantage. That is assuming I can ever see again. It is much quieter than where we were being held earlier, and the voices have stopped. Perhaps I am alone, or they are watching me right now, biding their time. Only one way to find out._

Taking a relaxing breath, Teyla tensed and cracked on eyelid open. She braced herself for the mind numbing pain, but it never came. After a few nerve wracking moments she opened her other eye. _I should have kept them closed._

Swallowing hard, she struggled to keep her face passive and her breathing steady. Her gaze was frozen to a wooden table three feet from her face. She had seen some of the things on it before. John had shown or described many of them to her not long after she had begun going off world. He had wanted her to be prepared for the "worst case scenario." John had explained in great detail what could happen if she were to be taken prisoner. But it was not until this moment, lying on the floor completely helpless, did she truly understand the depths of what could be done to her. The little squeak Rodney had uttered while Sheppard had described some of the different techniques in explicit detail, had made her laugh at the time. But now she had to bite her bottom lip until she tasted blood to keep from uttering the same sound.

She had never seen so many objects capable of inflicting pain in one place. There were blades in all shapes and sizes. One was ribbed and covered in dried blood, she felt ants crawl up her spine as she tried not imagine what damage it could inflict . Another was rusty and curved, it reminded Teyla off a half-moon, then there was the small tray full of needles and small throwing knives. The back of the table was hard to see, but she could make out the outline of a large weapon. If she had to guess, it was the same as they had used on both her and Colonel Sheppard to subdue them originally. Her gaze drifted back to the large, bloody, jagged blade. She shook her head and forced her gaze to less offensive areas. There were no bars, she was in a box for lack of a better word. The walls were solid and brown. There was no window, or even a door. It must have been hidden, if there was a way in there had to be a way out. Even the walls themselves were tainted with echoes of violence. Dried blood was splattered on all four sections of the room. She felt nauseas as she recognized one red streak was in the shape of a handprint, small scratches outlined it. Someone had tried to claw their way out of this place. She blinked back tears. _What poor soul was last in here?_

She momentarily forgot to breath as she saw the drawing on the wall to her far left. A large eye surrounded by swirls of purple and blue seemed to peer into her soul. Their god apparently enjoyed watching people suffer. _I can not believe I actually found that design to be attractive_. Against her better judgment she found herself staring at he jagged weapon again. _How could anyone be so cruel and ……_

"Have you had time to tour your new residence?"

_…..Uncaring_. _Where did he come from_? Hiding all traces of surprise and fear, she met Gwein's hateful stare with her own.

"It is lovely, do you treat all you guests with such hospitality?"

He walked around the room toward the weapons casually, as if he were taking a stroll through a garden to pick a flower. But it wasn't a rose he plucked from the table. He held the long, curved blade in one hand and caressed it's tip with his other. "Only ones as delicate as you my dear," he whispered never taking his eyes off the item in his hands.

"I think you will find I am much more resilient than you believe," she said with a conviction she didn't know she possessed.

His stare finally met hers, "You speak very bravely for someone who's about to experience a level of pain most are lucky enough to never know exists." He ran his long tongue over the sharp edge of the blade and licked his lips. " I love the taste of suffering, it makes me feel….alive."

Teyla simply glowered in his direction. "I will tell you nothing."

He strolled over to her feet, "I am sure you believe that" He cocked his head and stared at her with hunger in his black eyes. "At the moment."

Gwein waved his hand in her direction. The wall opened to reveal a hidden door. No wonder I did not see him enter. Two Kithchak donning black masks paraded into the room. They were practically jumping for joy at the prospect of causing her suffering.

"Hold her," Gwein ordered them.

Despite her bonds, she tried to kick the smallest one in the groin, but he shifted out of the way and she only grazed his hip. Before she could take a breath, she was pinned to the cold wall behind her, both arms held in a death grip by his accomplices. Gwein began walking toward her, like an animal stalking it's prey. His slender fingers danced over the blade.

Her pulse was racing, her skin coated with sweat, she could feel herself panicking. John give me the strength. She closed her eyes and thought back to her lessons.

"_Take yourself away from the pain, try to go to a place where you feel safe and loved. Tune out what's happening to you. It's hard, but believe me. it can mean the difference between coming out of the situation sane, or in a straight jacket."_

_"You sound like your speaking from experience Major," she asked sadly._

_"I am. That's why I'm teaching you this, I want you to be safe Teyla."_

In the back of her mind she vaguely heard Gwein's sinister voice taunt her, "You think closing your eyes will help."

It didn't matter, she felt calmer, more in control. John had lived through this, so could she. Let him talk, it was far better than the alternative. She felt her mind taking her away from this hell. It took her to her safe haven, to Atlantis. More specifically to the training room with John Sheppard. Back to when he had kissed her senseless, had looked at her the way a man never had before. She had been the only thing that had existed to him at that moment, she could stay in that memory forever.

Gwein's threats faded further and further away, she thought her brain registered the clanging of two blades together, but she wasn't sure.

She could almost feel the warmth of his lips on hers, his tongue dancing with hers. See the lust in his sexy, intelligent eyes. _His passion scared me at the time, now I would give anything to have him look at me like that again._

Her mind continued to wander as she forced herself to ignore reality. Things had changed since that day in many ways. He had never mentioned their kiss again. But there had been several occasions when she had walked in on John and Rodney deep in discussion, they would become quiet as soon as they saw her approach. Her gut reaction had been that one of them was angry with her, but she had cornered Dr. Mckay one day two weeks ago and he had assured her that was not the case. He had then winked at her and giggled whenever John engaged her in conversation. Then the Colonel very politely told him to shut up, or he would make sure he only had field rations to eat all week. Rodney had not so much as grinned in their direction the rest to the day.

She sighed. Knowing she might die here today, and never get the chance to tell him she was not sorry for their kiss and wished he would do it again….and again. _If I live through this, I will tell him._

Her tormentors hot, rank breath was invading her nostrils, forcing her attention. His voice was edgy, probably annoyed at he lack of reaction to his words. She was not sure how much time had passed while she found solace in her dreams.

His voice became harder to tune out as he became enraged. Her eyes flew open as her cheek blazed with renewed pain. Gwein's eyes were filled with rage, "How dare you ignore me woman. Since words don't scare you, maybe this will."

He brought the curved blade to her neck and smiled, "Paying attention now aren't we?"

She felt more than heard his minions grunt with anticipation as he leaned in and licked her bleeding face.

She jerked her head to the side, but it was pointless. She couldn't go anywhere. The most she could do was hope for a chance to head butt the piece of shit.

"You taste good. Let us see if you have any different flavors."

Closing her eyes, fighting the rising anxiety, she saw John's handsome face and prayed she could endure this. As she felt the blade dig into her arm she made a vow. _No matter what he does to me, I will not scream. If I can do that, telling John how I feel will seem like nothing. Of course, that is assuming I do not die first._

He pressed the blade against her stomach, _John was right_, and slowly and deliberately made a cut all the way across, _the dream is better._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four 

"Son of a Bitch," John screamed as he kicked the metal bars on his cell for about the hundredth time that hour. He barely registered the pain as it traveled up his leg into his spine. He wiped the sweat from his brow while he collapsed onto the hard ground. Helpless wasn't something John did well, never had been. But it didn't change the fact that he was…._I couldn't help Teyla, Rodney, or Ronan, hell can't even help myself. Just pace my cell, kick the walls, and yell a few curses at the empty hallways. Yeah that will show them John. God, I am pathetic._

At first he had wondered why Gwein hadn't forced him to watch as they tortured Teyla, Now he understood. This was so much worse. It left everything to his imagination….and he could imagine a lot. Not knowing what they were doing to her, hell, he didn't even know for sure she was alive. _Yep, Gwein, was a smart one. All I can do is sit here alone, and wonder what is happening to her. Are they using knives, electricity, fire, or some other form of torture technique stolen from other worlds._ John shuddered, he couldn't stop thinking about what pain she might be enduring right at this moment while he sat here unharmed.

_ Sure I can. There's always the rest of my team to worry about._ John leaned his head back and rested it against the cool metal behind him. He had told them to go bring back help, how long ago had that been. Hell, it could have been weeks for all I know. But judging by the small amount of stubble on his face, he was relatively sure it had only been a few days. Sheppard was clinging to the fact that he had yet to hear his captors mention Rodney or Ronan. If they hadn't escaped, he'd probably would have thrown them in this shit hole right alongside him and Teyla. He toyed with the idea of examining the cell for weak points, but considering he'd done that at least twenty times already, he opted to save his strength instead. If a chance to escape came, he would need every once of his energy to make the most of it.

He calmed his frayed nerves by thinking about he and Teyla's one and only kiss. But wow, had it felt right. His mouth tangled with hers, it was probably just wishful thinking, but he could have sworn he could almost still taste her. He felt a smile creeping up onto his lips despite himself. _And now, she doesn't even know how much it meant to me._

"Well," he mused, "You were right again Mckay."

A few weeks after his descent to the "dark side" as Rodney had called it, he had been having lunch with the quirky scientist, who had somehow become his best friend. _Not that I will ever admit it._ In a moment of weakness, he had chosen to tell him about his passionate embrace with Teyla in the training room. So of course Rodney had to constantly press the issue, another thin smile snuck in as he mulled over their most recent lunch debate.

flashback

"Tell her how you feel, I'm sick of watching you stare at her like a boy who lost his puppy. Just confess and see what happens. Ask her on a date at least. Besides she knows something is up. She confronted me, what was it last week."

" I know I remember."

"She thought we were mad at her, you have to let her know the truth."

"It's not that simple Rodney, I apologized to her for Christ's sake. She probably thinks I regret it."

"Well, do you," he challenged.

John's eyes narrowed, "You know the answer to that already. Why the hell did I tell you about this anyway?"

"Because I'm a genius and you felt I could enlighten you on how to handle your…." he made a circular motion with his fork while searching for the right word, "Predicament."

Sheppard rolled his eyes and stabbed his potatoes harder than necessary. "This sucks. I didn't want it to happen like that. It's not how I wanted our first kiss to be,….. I forced her Rodney," his voice trickled to barely above a whisper.

As usual McKay managed to surprise him. "It wasn't you Colonel," he said earnestly.

"Yes it was."

He made an exasperated sound, "In the physical sense of course it was, but you were under the influence, so to speak. Was it my fault what Lt. Cadman did when she was in my body?"

John sighed, "Rodney, that's not the same thing." Silently he added,_ I kissed a woman_. Settling instead for giving the Doctor a knowing smile, which he choose to ignore.

"It's close enough, you have to stop sulking and do something. You have to tell her, you'll feel better and," he added with smirk , "I finally won't have to listen to you whine anymore."

John tried to look annoyed, but couldn't quite pull it off, "Yeah that's your job." He gave a lopsided grin, " And I do not whine." He met his friends blue eyes, "By the way, thanks. Maybe I will ask Teyla to go…"he stopped mid sentence when Rodney made a strangled sound.

" Hey Teyla…

Present time

"Now I might not get the chance," he groaned and rubbed his aching side. The regrets just kept piling up. The sound of metal squealing ripped him out of his reverie. His head spun in the direction the sound. For a moment there was nothing, then the sound of heavy footsteps. John strained his eyes in the dim lighting as he attempted to figure out who was approaching. There were two, no maybe three separate silhouettes. He opened his mouth to shout out a few choice phrases, but the words died on his dry, cracked lips. The figures were much clearer now, Gwein was walking, no more like strutting, a peacock couldn't have done a better job, next to Goliath.

The third individual made John's skin crawl. The body was limp, as Kinen drug them across the floor. He felt bile burn the back of his throat, _Please god, don't let that be what I think it is._

It was definitely a human, their clothing was tattered and bloody, then he saw the long brown hair and mocha skin as they neared the cell. That's when he really lost it.

He leapt off the ground and pounced onto the bars like a wild animal. I'll kill you," he screamed while literally trying to pry lose one of the barriers. He could feel the strain in his muscles but he didn't care, pain didn't matter, she was all that mattered. He had to get to her. Had to….

"John…stop," a barely perceptible whisper penetrated his haze of hatred. He looked down into Teyla's eyes, she looked so fragile. Her right eye was swollen shut, she was peering up at him through a slightly less puffy left eye. There were cuts all over her face and neck, hell there were cuts on every area of exposed skin he could see. Bruises also marred the once perfect skin he so longed to touch. She was breathing heavily and clutching her abdomen. They had used blades, and fists. He closed his tired eyes for a second and tried not to scream._ Please let physical pain be the only type of torture they put her through._ He shuddered and the last of his energy seemed to melt away as he sank to his knees, making him eye level with the battered woman before him.

"You see what your unwillingness to talk gets you." There was pause, then fabric rustling as Gwein knelt down and cupped Teyla's cheek with his hand. His icy gaze locked with John's, "The one's you love suffer."

The door was flung open, and Kinen threw Teyla on top of John. Before he could even begin to move a loud clang told him the door had been shut._ Doesn't matter, escape wasn't possible.. No way I could have gotten Teyla out in her condition._

A soft moan got him moving. Moving her as little as possible, he shimmied out from under her beaten body. He laid her gently onto the ground before beginning a more careful examination of her injuries. She was shaking and appeared pale but she was breathing, and for the moment that was good enough.

"Teyla," he tried while stroking her less wounded cheek. "Can you hear me?"

She nodded once.

"Okay, I'm going to check out the damage. Do you understand me?"

She glared at him through one eye, "I am sore, not stupid."

A small laugh of relief escaped as he squeezed her hand. "You my dear, have been hanging around me too long."

"Never," she replied.

"Thanks." He began inspecting the cuts on her uncovered flesh. "Does anything feel broken to you?"

"I do not believe so, but," she gingerly lifted up her blood streaked, top. John felt his teeth clench along with his fists.

"Bastards." He probed the gouge with his index finger and felt her flinch. "Sorry, it's not as bad as it could have been. Looks like it's clotted, which is good." I'm staling, ask her. "Teyla, did they…." he couldn't bring himself to even say it.

Her cool hand rested on his face, "No John, I believe they are saving that for later," she struggled to keep her voice light.

Never. "I won't let that happen to you. We will get out of here," her one open eyelid began fluttering and he could feel her body quivering against his leg. "What's wrong?"

"Cold, and I am so weary. Hard to stay awake."

"Oh no you don't. Listen to me you have to stay conscience. I think you're going into shock. You didn't hit your head did you?"

"I am not sure."

"Here," he pulled her into his lap, so her head rested against his shoulder. His legs enveloped her shivering body as he wrapped his jacket around her upper body.

"You still with me?"

"Yes, but it is hard to focus."

"Well you need to stay awake. I've got something I need to tell you," John managed.

"I too have something to discuss with you John. I realized.."

"If I don't say this now I might chicken out." He angled his head so he could see her face, "Not have the courage," he translated.

She nodded, her face full of curiosity despite the pain he knew she was suffering.

He swallowed, took a deep breath and took Rodney's advice. He spilled his guts.

"I know we haven't discussed our kiss since I apologized. But there are a few things you need to know. One, I am not sorry I kissed you." Wow, that wasn't so hard. " What I am sorry for is how it happened. I wish it could have happened under different circumstances, but it didn't. So the question is what happens next?" Her expression hadn't wavered, she could be thinking anything, but he'd come this far. "I guess what I'm trying to say in a roundabout, idiotic kind of way is that I want to kiss you again. Awww, why Is this so hard. We could die, I might never get another chance…..Screw this." He closed his eyes, "What I mean is at some point along the way I fell in love with you." He inhaled sharply. He hadn't been moving but he felt like he'd run a mile. His heart was pounding, his palms were sweaty, and if she didn't say something soon it would be irrelevant. Because he was going to have a heart attack at this rate any moment now.

That's when she saved his life. "John, look at me."

He forced his eyes opened and blinked until his vision cleared. Apparently he wasn't the only one feeling emotional, her marred face was now streaked with tears.

"I love you too. I have been so scared, I did not feel I was ready. But when he was torturing me I knew. That's what I wanted to tell you."

He pulled her into an embrace, it was awkward due to their position, but he didn't care. Until the thought he might be hurting her popped into his head, "Sorry," he whispered against her hair, then laid her back down into his lap.

She was beaming. John had never understood what people meant when they said you knew you loved some one when you could see them at their worst and think they were the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. Well you couldn't get much worse. And damn if she wasn't gorgeous.

"John, I want to kiss you too."

He started to lean in and paused, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. I might never have this chance again."

He wanted to argue with her, but she was right. Instead he cupped the back of her head with his calloused hands to bring her to his waiting mouth.

"No but I will."

They both jerked their heads towards Gwein's cold, reptilian voice. Reflexively John tightened his grip around Teyla.

"Are you ready to tell me the coordinates to your city yet?"

"No," Teyla spat. "And we never will."

She had made her decision, and John realized so had he. "You might as well kill us, we're not talking. You snagged the wrong people Gwein, were not squealers."

He took a brief moment of pleasure at the confused look on Gwein's face.

"It means we will not tell you the gate address…..ever," Teyla proudly informed him.

His face remained a blank mask, but John could see the fury dancing in his black eyes like flames. "Very well, I think we'll take her again. I have something else in mind for this round," he ran his tongue over his lips and stared at Teyla.

Before John could attempt to rip his throat out, the room began to shake. Dirt and rocks fell from the ceiling, in seconds he could see nothing through the cloud of dust. He shoved Teyla to the ground and covered her with his body just as a loud explosion sounded from somewhere behind them. At least I can die with one less regret, he thought while he buried his face into Teyla's hair. "I'm here," he said into her ear as another explosion rocked their enclosure. He could hear debri falling all around them, it was only a matter of time before…. _Shit.  
_

Pain reverberated in his skull , something hard had collided with his head. John thought he heard a familiar voice, but he couldn't seem to focus. It was hard to keep from slipping into the darkness that beckoned. But something was nagging at him, he needed to stay alert. He felt moisture tricking down the side of his face. _Blood. Probably have a concussion. Hard to breath, too much dirt in the air_. That voice again, he almost had it, but the past days seemed to have finally caught up with him He surrendered to the black.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five 

John fought against the fog that had wrapped itself around every corner of his brain. Something kept knocking on his sub-conscience as if to say "Get your ass up John." It was becoming quite annoying. A continuous stream of noise kept pouring into his ears. A constant reminder that he needed to stop laying here and do something. But it wasn't that easy. _God why wouldn't they just shut-up._

That's when the pain decided it was time to chime in with "I'm still here, didn't think you'd get away that easily did you?" _Shit I must have a head injury, I think I've lost what was left of my mind_. Pain doesn't talk . But the noise was becoming more focused….it was a voice. It was familiar but he couldn't understand what they were saying. Sheppard gave himself a mental kick in the rear end and forced his heavy eyelids open. John couldn't help but smile as the words began to make sense.

"What Major, you decided to use the entire case of explosives. I'm not a soldier but I don't think bringing down the ceiling on their heads counts as a successful rescue mission!"

_Rodney. I never thought your voice could sound so good._ His joy was cut short as gunfire erupted around him. John cringed, they weren't out of the woods yet. He was still having trouble seeing clearly, but he wasn't sure if it was due to his injury or the near cave-in. The thin coating of dust made Teyla appear even paler. _I will not lose you now._ He touched her face, she felt warm, and her chest was rising and falling at a fairly steady rate. She was holding her own for the moment.

The firing came to an abrupt halt. " Search the area, we need to find the Colonel and Teyla," John recognized the calm voice of Major Lorne. Fighting the nausea he managed to raise his head a few inches off Teyla's chest and scan the area. He couldn't see anything. _Rocks around us, dirt and gun powder in the air, and dim lighting to top it off. Crap they'll never find us in this mess._

John opened his mouth to call out, but all he managed was a weak cough. His throat felt like sandpaper, and his mouth might as well have been full of cotton. This was so not good. He had a brief moment of insanity where he actually considered trying to stand up. But his legs refused to cooperate, apparently they had turned to jelly while he was unconscious. Then there was the dizziness, he was pretty sure that rock wasn't supposed to be spinning.

He closed his eyes just as Mckay's irate voice began again.

"Perhaps if you had been more careful we could actually see more than a foot in front of us."

Dr. Mckay, you're not helping. Shut-up and let us do our jobs," Lorne again. Rodney was really pissing him off, _that's my scientist_. John swallowed and willed his vocal cords to work this time. " Don't you ever stop bitching Rodney," his voice was barely above a whisper, and sounded foreign even to his own ears. _Jeez, did I swallow a rat._

"Well I would if….did you hear that? This way, I swear I heard…." Mckay's voice was becoming louder as they approached. The sound of rocks cracking under their steps told him they were heading in the right direction.

"Really Doctor, I think you were hallucinating," Lorne finished with a soft cough.

John could just see him roll his eyes and get that exasperated look on his face. It was the same look his mom used to give him when he would ask her "Are we there yet?" for the millionth time in an hour. Before Rodney could launch into a tirade he took a deep breath and managed, "Over here."

"There you see, it's coming from over there," Rodney's voice was filled with relief.

John closed his photo sensitive eyes as a flashlight beam was aimed in their direction. "This way, next to those fallen rocks," Sheppard heard Ronan's voice for the first time.

He heard them stumbling through more debri, then he felt a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Colonel, are you alright?"

"I'd be a hell of a lot better if you got that damn light out of my eyes Ronan," he grimaced.

"Sorry," the offensive beam was immediately removed.

"I'll live, check Teyla." His voice became icy, " They tortured her."

He felt warm hands gently lift him up and off of Teyla's lithe body. A medic, he wasn't sure of his name began a cursory examination on her while John tried not to make a fuss over his now throbbing ribs. _Must have been pounded by a rock there as well_. Moving him into a sitting position had hurt like hell, but he hadn't made a sound. Teyla was more important.

'Maj,..Sorry I meant Colonel, are you okay?"

His gaze locked with his blue eyed friend now kneeling before him. Rodney looked like he could use a nap. "I've been worse."

"Why does that not give me any comfort?"

"That's because your such a pessimist McKay," he attempted to smile, but his lips weren't in the mood.

"Your pale, bruised, and your hair is awful. What have you been doing down here?"

John sighed, he knew what Rodney was doing. His gaze kept drifting back to Teyla's non-moving form. "Your not helping."

"Yeah well," he said sadly as he turned to look at the object of John's distress. "I'm sorry we couldn't get back here sooner. We got help right away, but there was trouble finding this place. Ronan had to scare the hell out of quite a few natives you know? Then there was…

"Rodney," he waited until he turned back, "You did good."

"Really?"

"Yep, now if you could just manage to be quiet for five seconds…"

"Nothings broken, whoever did this knew what they were doing," the young medic called out. "We have to get her back to Atlantis thought, she could have internal bleeding, can't be sure till the Doc checks her out." He stood, "You bring me that stretcher, Colonel we'll have one.."

"Belay that order, I will be fine. Just concentrate on protecting her, it's a lot easier to cover one injured person on a stretcher than two." He didn't miss the irate glances that were being sent his way. "That's an order people. Your job is to take care of her, got it?"

There were a few annoyed mumbles, but they did as they were told. It only took the team minutes to secure Teyla and insure their way out was clear. "Ronan, you guard Teyla, understand."

He nodded, "I will protect her with my life."

"I know, now" he turned towards a suspiciously silent Rodney McKay. "Guess what your job is…" he flashed his trademark grin and stretched his arms out toward the scientist.

"Oh sure now you want my help," he pouted but grabbed one of John's offered hands, and hauled him to his feet. Sheppard was unable to hide his distress, "Dammit, why didn't you tell me you were hurt?"

"Slipped my mind," he gasped. Rodney held him still until the pain and dizziness passed.

"You shouldn't be walking," he sighed. "Here," he carefully slid an arm around John's back, while John managed to wrap his arm around Rodney's neck. It relieved some of the strain, he just wasn't sure how long the out of shape scientist could handle supporting that much of his weight.

Major Lorne was studying them with a furrowed brow. To his credit, he said nothing about John's condition. "Let's move out, slow and cautious. Who knows what's waiting for us out there."

There were ten in the rescue party not counting himself and Teyla. The soldiers formed a circle around the unconscious Teyla, himself and Rodney. Ronan was taking up the rear, his eyes constantly scanning the area. Most of the dirt had cleared and visibility was almost back to normal for a barely lit, house of horrors. Lorne was on point, clearly anxious to get the hell out of dodge. The feeling was mutual. So they began their slow, journey back to the Stargate.

As they rounded a wide corner, John relaxed a little as he saw the sun up ahead. "Hey, you got any sunglasses, my eyes don't like the light right now." _Probably a combination of being in a dark cave for days and my head injury._

He saw Rodney dig in his pants pocket. "Here," he said while placing them on John's face.

"Thanks," the throbbing in his skull seemed to ease slightly. His ribs on the other hand, were still screaming bloody murder with every step.

"You know, don't think this let's you off the hook?"

"What," he asked reflexively.

"You still owe me that twenty dollars," Rodney deadpanned.

John smiled and ignored the comment, "By the way in case we die…you were right," he said while they cleared the cave and he saw the sky for the first time in…he wasn't sure how long. He inhaled the fresh air, god it felt good to out of that cave.

"Of course I was," he shifted his arm, offering even more support to John's already protesting muscles. "About what?"

His stare landed on Teyla, "About telling her. It wasn't even that hard you know. Now I might…," he swallowed the emotion that he heard creeping into his voice.

"Now who's being pessimistic?"

"Not pessimistic, realistic," he snapped. He heard Mckay sigh, but that was his only response.

They traveled in silence, the only sound was the crunching of dirt and fallen tree branches as they walked toward the Stargate. Lorne signaled to head left so his friend began turning with the others. One of the young Lieutenants must have noticed his labored breathing and offered to take John of his hands. John began to let go immediately, but stopped when the scientists grip on him tightened.

"That won't be necessary."

The soldier looked unconvinced but backed off and resumed his position in the formation. "Umm, maybe you should take him up on his offer. I'm not exactly a light weight here."

"No," he practically yelped. He could see his cheeks redden. "I mean it's alright. Besides," he swallowed, "Look what happened last time I let you two out of my sight. You go and get yourselves kidnapped and …. You both could have died John. Died so I could live," his voice sounded distant and strained.

Not many people could surprise John Sheppard but damn if Rodney didn't do it at least once a week. _He just called me John. Teyla, now Rodney. I must have started a trend._ "Well," he decided to try humor, "Actually so both you and Ronan could live."

"That makes this so much better. Isn't sarcasm my job."

"I think we do a pretty good at sharing that particular burden," he gave him a sideways smile.

Rodney grinned wryly back at him. "You're sick'

"Yeah, look McKay me and Teyla. We know either of you would have done the same for us."

Rodney opened his mouth to protest, "Hey no interrupting. You know it's true, look at you now, look at what you're doing and tell me it's not."

Rodney blinked several times and stared at Teyla's unmoving form a few feet ahead of them being guarded by the final member of their team. He was quiet for a few awkward moments then, "What did that medic mean when he said they knew what they were doing?"

Another jolt, "Rodney I don't think you want to know that answer. You get pretty squeamish about torture."

"I need to know."

He nodded, big mistake as his head swam and pounded. He fought past it, "He meant they knew how to inflict the most pain without killing or causing serious injury." Sheppard paused to let that sink in, "That way they could keep it going for days, maybe even weeks."

Rodney had turned ghostly white. But he simply pressed forward, helping John to clear a fallen tree in their path.

John couldn't keep his eyes off Teyla. He wanted to run up to her side, hold her hand, kiss every bruise on her face, but he didn't. Telling Rodney was once thing, but a public display of affection in front of Lorne might not be welcome. Not to mention Weir and Caldwell. He had a feeling they might not be pleased. Team members involved in romances were frowned upon.

"She's not part of the military John, they can't stop you two", Rodney said in a hushed voice.

"How did you…"

"You had that look on your face."

"What look?"

"Never mind, but what I said is true isn't it?"

"Yes, but….I still don't know how it's going to go over. At the very least our team will probably be split up."

"You can't know that." Mckay huffed.

John smiled bitterly. But didn't' comment. He turned his head slowly so he could see his friends face. "I love her," he whispered.

Mckay stopped walking and met his gaze. "I know."

The two men behind them made an impatient noise. Rodney led them forward a few steps, "I'll help you two. If you want to keep it a secret I won't say anything, if you want to go forward I'll speak on your behalf. I'll tell them I don't think your relationship would impair..'

"Rodney," he gently interrupted "Thanks, let's just get off this planet alive first." His smile turned a little wicked, "But hey, if we have children I'll make sure they call you grandpa."

"That's real cute. You know how much I adore kids. Hey maybe I can…":his voice trickled to nothing, as he stared ahead of them. "Finally were there, I can see the gate," his relief was evident.

John felt better already. They were almost home, Teyla would get the help she needed, and he'd discovered they had a surprising advocate for their newly professed love. The day was turning out much better than he'd thought possible.

They stepped out of the forest and onto the dirt path a few feet from the Stargate. He and Mckay were really going to need a bath. Dirty and sweaty was not a good combination. And they were covered in both.

John exhaled, and watched the Major approach the DHD. The other men were spread out, P-90's raised. Teyla had been set down on the ground, Ronan stood next to her. The medic was adjusting the straps that kept her from being jostled to much during long march here. So far so good. No sign of any angry villagers.

"Hey Rodney you mind if we," he tilted his head toward the Athosian.

"Of course," they started toward Teyla.

Lorne was getting ready to dial home, when he abruptly jumped back from the device like he had been bitten. "Fuck, it shocked me."

"You're quite observant," called a voice that had become the devil's in John's mind.

Before anyone could blink, the air shimmered and Gwein appeared directly in front of Teyla's stretcher. He had a weapon trained at her head. " I wouldn't do that if I were you," he spat at Ronan who had been about to raise his own gun. "She'll be dead before you can kill me." The ex-wraith hunter looked ready to eviscerate someone. But he slowly lowered his rifle.

"Hello Colonel. I've been waiting for you," he smirked and gestured with his free hand. At least ten other natives appeared out of thin air. They were surrounded.

"I'll have that gate address now," he hissed.


	6. Chapter 6

Not mine don't sue

this is unbetaed (edited) I will be posting the proofread version of all chapters hopefully in the next few weeks. Finally got someone to look over my work. So please excuse the errors.

**Chapter Six**

_Adrenaline was a funny thing_. John exhaled slowly as he felt it's effects course through his tense body. Two minutes ago he had barely been able to stand on his own - now he could run a mile. _The son of a bitch holding a gun to my soul mates skull may have something to do with that_. Fear and rage were marvelous painkillers, he'd have to market it, if he got through the gate alive today.

"I won't ask again John," he pressed a red button on the side of his alien pistol. It responded by making a noise that resembled a jet engine firing up. _Charging perhaps_? "It's set to kill."

Somehow "John" turned into "asshole" when Gwein said it." Sheppard's eyes darted to Ronan's. They had to do something. _But what_? His mind began racing, turning over every possible scenario his military trained brain knew. He must have tested at least twenty in the time it took him to blink. They all had the same unacceptable ending….Teyla was killed. There was no way his people could disarm or kill Gwein before he shot her. That left one option…stall.

Rodney took this moment to turn psychic. "Excuse me," his voice sounded calm despite their no win situation. "Perhaps I can offer a suggestion."

John's death grip on Rodney tightened in a silent question, "What are you doing?"

His friends eyes shifted in response to Teyla then back to Gwein. _What is he trying to tell me_?

The scientist continued to ramble on about the mechanics of gate travel. His gaze locked onto Teyla again, but his voice never wavered. John followed his lead and stared at her still form yet again. _Wait a minute_. _Thank you Mckay,_ he did a mental salute to the doctors observation skills.

Gwein was still hovering near Teyla, but he had failed to notice something. Teyla's fingers had tightened around the edges of the stretcher and her breath had quickened. She was awake…and about to do something either insanely brave or stupid. That pretty much depended on the outcome of the next few moments. Before Rodney could finish his next sentence she made her move.

Her arms whipped up at a speed any marine would rival, she had her fingers wrapped around Gwein's wrists a millisecond later. They began struggling for control of the device he held, her face contorted with strain. She was still very weak, but she wasn't going to give up easily.

"Shoot them," Gwein's voice was high and shrill as the wriggled like a worm in Teyla's determined grip. Things began to move in slow motion for John. He saw Ronan leaping toward the Kitchak leader, arms outstretched. Then the natives began firing projectile weapons, apparently only snake man got the high tech piece of machinery. He pulled Rodney to the ground, they landed on their stomachs, hard. His friend was clutching his arm, blood seeping through his blue jacket. Rodney tried to smile, but only managed to grit his teeth a little less. "I'll live," he mouthed.

He nodded and turned away. Ronan was now straddling Gwein, and had his weapon pointed at the devil incarnate's head. He couldn't hear over the gunfire but it appeared he was ordering the SOB to order his men to stand down. Gwein was nodding and it seemed Dex was successful, but apparently fate had decided that would be to kind. John flinched as a bullet ripped through Ronan's broad shoulder and he was thrown onto his back. _Guess there won't be a ceasefire_. Gwein kicked at their resident muscle and began crawling towards his alien gun.

This had all taken seconds, but to Colonel Sheppard it felt like an eternity. He had to move now or everyone he cared about was going to die. He grabbed Rodney's sidearm and ripped it out of it's holster. It all seemed so unreal. He felt himself standing up, he saw himself raising the gun. Gwein had secured his weapon as well. They both stood facing each other, eyes locked, John felt sweat trickle down his face, but his fierce gaze never wavered. He didn't hear the gunfire, didn't feel the bullets rush by him. He only saw the man standing before him, his enemy.

The Kitchak's gun was more powerful, but he was willing to bet it took longer to fire. If it had to charge, it had a delay, at least that's what he told himself as he pulled the trigger. He was right. The bullet collided with Gwein's shoulder, and he staggered backward, "That was for Ronan," he fired again. The Kitchak fell to the ground as his knee cap was destroyed. "That was for Rodney," he screamed while walking towards his fallen opponent. "And this," he pressed the barrel against his tormentors forehead, over his third eye, "This is for Teyla."

The natives had stopped shooting, they had noticed the power shift . They were murmuring amongst themselves, it was reminiscent of a beehive. Without their leader to keep order, they seemed confused.

John knew he had everyone's attention, including Teyla, who had somehow appeared at his side. He could almost hear her pleading thoughts. _Do not let him destroy who you are_.

Gwein was crying now, begging for his life. _How things change._

"Remember this," he bent low so only Gwein and the Athosian could hear him. "You are going to live today, not because I give a shit about you… but because I love her so much I would spare you."

He pulled away and pistol whipped his adversary. No one made any move to check on the wounded alien. "Take him and leave, before we change our minds," John yelled to the remaining natives. Their weapons had already lowered in submission. It was what he'd thought, take out the leader, the rest will follow. _Basic training 101._

He watched as one of them picked up Gwein and began carrying him away. The others followed silently, all huddled close to one an other. They didn't seem at all threatening now. He couldn't help but wonder how they had ended up living like this. But he also had a feeling he wouldn't be getting an answer any time soon.

"How's my team," John barked at the medic examining Ronan.

"They'll be fine sir, clean hits, bullets went straight through."

"Oh, that's so reassuring! Have you ever been shot Lt. Rogers?"

"Some of them are pretty ready to go home though Colonel," the no longer nameless medic sighed as he applied pressure to Rodney's arm.

"Well.." he felt a warm hand rest on his arm. His smiled at Teyla, and she returned the gesture. Her eyes… no one had ever looked at him like that before. "Yeah, let's go home." He leaned close to Teyla, "Besides, I think my adrenaline is almost gone."

1 Week Later

"So we had no casualties and got our missing people back. I'd call that a success.," Elizabeth was smiling as she prepared to wrap-up the debriefing.

John glanced at Teyla and saw her grim expression mirrored his own._ I'd like to avoid that kind of success again thank you._ He rested his chin on the palm of his hand and tried not to sigh. Most of the bruises had faded from her face. but they were still visible. His eyes traveled around the table taking in everyone's unhappy and tired faces. Dr. Weir had agreed to post pone this meeting until all his team were released from the infirmary. Rodney and Ronan had been released the next day, while he and Teyla had not been so fortunate. Beckett had kept them for the better part of a week. The good Doctor had mentioned the words contusions, emotional trauma, and so forth. All he had cared about was, "when can I leave" Teyla had kept him sane. Well, her and the frequent visits from McKay and Dex.

Except for his still aching ribs he felt fine. But calling this mission a success seemed a bit…..

"That's a bit of a stretch don't you think," McKay blurted.

John bit the inside of his cheek to hide his smile and saw Teyla's mouth begin to curl out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm sorry Rodney,' Weir looked taken aback.

"Well I am sorry if I don't agree with your assessment. We had four injured, not including the Colonel or Teyla. Learned next to nothing, and obtained no new techno…."

John held up his hand, "Down boy," he saw Rodney blink at the warmth in his eyes. He was aware that his words said shut-up, but his face said thank you. He agreed with McKay but he also knew why Elizabeth had said it. She was trying to make the best of a shitty situation.

"Thank you John," Weir gave a sad smile. "I know this didn't turn out how anyone expected it to…but I prefer to focus on the good. And not losing anyone is a very good thing. I am sure we can all agree on that," she stared at Rodney. He said nothing, but at least he wasn't arguing.

All present nodded. "Then you are all dismissed." She stood and turned to leave. "Oh," she glanced back, "On a side note. Colonel Sheppard, you and your team are on downtime for the next week. Enjoy yourselves. You have all earned it," with that she headed for the exit.

John's face turned playful as he met the curious eyes of each of his team mates.

"So, who's up for a little poker?"

Much to his delight smiles erupted all around him.

Many Games Later

"So not only did I just win my twenty bucks back, but I gained forty more. Come on admit it….you were impressed with my bluffing skills."

Teyla brushed a strand of hair from her face and appeared nonchalant. "Yes John. I was impressed."

He beamed.

"With your ability to lie," she gave him a triumphant glance before continuing down the corridor.

His face fell. "Hey that is not what I meant." He touched the small of her back and felt chills travel up his spine as he admired her curves. "You were joking right, I mean you don't really think I'm a liar."

She laughed, it was the most beautiful sound he'd heard in weeks. The fear that she might never be able to do it again melted away. Her strength never ceased to put him in a state of awe.

Still giggling, she leaned against the wall next to her quarters. "No, I do not think you are a liar." Her eyes danced with amusement, "But I have been wrong in the past."

Teyla's eyebrows raised slightly as he settled himself next to her. Their shoulders touched as he scooted just a little closer. "Not since I've known you."

They climbed even further up her forehead, "No really. You are one of the best judges of character I think I have ever met. If you say I'm not a liar…then who am I to argue. I 'm such a flirt. His hand found it's way to her perfect face. He found himself tracing the outline of a faded wound on her cheek. "You were still beyond beautiful, do you know that." _Who said that_? But he kept going, holding back had gotten him nowhere in life. If this experience had taught him a damn thing it was the time honored lesson - _Live each day like it was you last_. And that's what he was going to do- starting right now.

"Even when they brought you back from the hell they threw you into." He felt the familiar tightness in his throat. "I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it… I was…" his words faltered and he looked away blinking a mile a minute.

A warm hand on his now tear streaked face gently guided him back to his lover's intense, and equally wet eyes. "Do not dare blame yourself. You would have killed," her voice warmed, "or not killed for me. You gave me the strength to endure it all."

"I didn't do a damn thing," his hands shook with pent up emotions he hadn't even been aware existed until now. _Not a damn thing_.

"Come inside. It will be easier to talk. There is much I need to say, and much you need to hear," her fingers intertwined with his trembling ones and he allowed her to guide him into her room.

She sat on the bed pulling him down with her. Teyla turned sideways and sat Indian style, then indicated he do the same. Following her example he turned and got settled.

She laced her fingers through his, "Feeling calmer."

He hesitated for a moment, "Yes actually."

Teyla scooted forward until their knees pressed together.

"Even better," he dared.

Her lips pursed shutting him up faster than his drill sergeant could have. "I want to talk to you about," her voice wavered, "what happened during our separation."

John tried to keep his face and breathing normal. He personally knew how hard having this discussion was going to be…on both of them. Talking was an inevitable necessity after torture, according to the military anyway. It was the only way she could get past this. But she wasn't the only one in need of a good cleansing, and not the kind a shower could offer. _I need this as much as she does._

Her eyes grew distant and her grip on his hands loosened. "Rodney was right to be so afraid. I can not believe I actually laughed at him during your lessons." Her fingernails dug into his skin, "I did not realize…"

He couldn't stand seeing her hurt like this. _Maybe a little attempt at humor_. .. :Yeah well, you know McKay…." he paused until she faced him. "He's always right.

Some of the tension fell away, "Yes. I think he would agree."

John smirked, "Well, unless it has anything to do with women, beer, partying…poker.."

"Be nice."

"Me…," his voice dripped with innocence. "Come on sweetie…. You know me. I'm always nice."

John's insides melted as she just sat there.. Smiling at him. _I could sit here like this all day_. "Hey, you know you don't have to do this right now."

"No, I do not want to waste anymore time."

_I know the feeling_. He could see the resolve pouring off of her. Her face was set with determination, her posture straightened, and her voice was strong. It was hard to believe just moments before she had seemed ready to crumble. Would she ever stop astounding and confusing him._ I sure hope not._

She cleared her throat, "He enjoyed feeling powerful. So he wanted to make me small." Her voice darkened and her pupils dilated. "But I did not let him. I never even screamed John-not once." Her expressive eyes turned thoughtful, "It made me stronger….to not give in…it was the one thing he could not take with his knives, threats, fists or electrical shocks. I never let him."

No other words were needed, Colonel John Sheppard knew what she wouldn't let him take. 'Your dignity,' he barely spoke loud enough to combat the sound of their hearts beating. Yet she heard him.

"I knew you were understand."

John continued like she hadn't spoken. "You never let him see how much he hurt you"  
He leaned forward his face so close to Teyla's he could see flecks of gold in her brown eyes. . "You beat him, never believe otherwise. He was weak. Always remember that. It'll help you sleep at night." He almost stopped there, but found it wasn't necessary. She was different. She could see what he kept hidden from others. "It has me."

Her eyes widened, and he saw the connections being made behind her dark eyes. He watched as she chewed on her bottom lip trying not to cry. Then he simply saw a woman understanding how much he understood. Now she knows. _Why I cry out in my sleep at times on missions, lashing out at an unknown tormentor. Why I always volunteer to take that extra watch. Why I hate being alone. Why I run myself into exhaustion whenever possible just so I can have a decent nights sleep. Why I almost killed Ronan when he threw her to the ground in the training room. Why it is so hard for me to let people in…especially the ones I care about. Because I'm afraid I might have to watch them suffer…that they might be used against me. She knows my biggest secret of all. I Colonel John Sheppard am afraid._

He saw all that in her eyes but all she said was, "You really understand," then he stopped looking at her and instead saw her. He felt he could see into her soul, and it was a splendid sight. She was absolutely pure and courageous. She was the most real woman he'd ever known. She didn't put up fronts because she didn't need to, she was perfect.

"There is something else I need you to know." Now she was staring into his soul. "You did save me. You were there with me, in my mind, my heart, and my thoughts. I let myself exist in a moment in time with you. The moment that changed the way I saw myself…..and you," her breathing had become raspy and she was sliding her hands up his shirt. Her fingers danced against his stomach.

_Funny, my ribs feel fine now_. "What moment was that," he bit back a moan as her hands strayed a little lower.

'When you kissed m..," somehow his mouth was on hers before she had finished. He didn't know if he had initiated it or not, and frankly he could care less. He entangled his hands in her soft, honey scented hair. She always smelled sweet, he'd have to ask what kind of shampoo she used, or better yet, see for himself.

He explored every nook and cranny of her warm, moist mouth with his tongue. Starting with her lips, then moving in deeper to caress her teeth. She gasped. He took that as an invitation. He drank her, breathed her, needed her more than he thought was possible. When he pulled away they were both starved for oxygen. She leaned her forehead against his and rested there for a few seconds. Then, much to his surprise, she was on him again. As one they fell onto their sides never breaking contact.

"You're as good a kisser as you are a fighter," he panted against her cheek.

"I never knew tongues had this many uses."

"You have no idea," he began tracing a path down her neck. He started to lift her shirt, then stopped.

"What's wrong," she asked as he froze.

"Teyla, we don't have to do this yet. I love you. I'll wait."

He couldn't explain or describe the look she gave him then. Complete trust, unconditional love, all the things you saw in those damn fairy tales that every cynic always laughs at and says "That doesn't happen in real life." He saw it on her face.

"No more wasting time."

_Couldn't have said it better myself_. "That's exactly how I feel."

"Now get this shirt off before I go insane," she ordered.

"Yes ma'am.' And he did.

_So this is how happy feels_. John sighed and pulled his beautiful goddess tighter against his chest. She made a small content sound and snuggled deeper into his embrace. He smiled at the mess they'd made of Teyla's bedroom. Her comforter was at the foot of the bed, twisted in any direction know to man, their clothes littered the floor. Except for his underwear which was hanging from her lamp, oh then there was the bra. _How'd that get there_?

"We sure made a mess," he nibbled her earlobe.

"Yes," he felt goose bumps raise on her silky skin as he stroked her exposed arm. She pulled the sheet up higher, "Behave."

'Why, I didn't hear you complaining last night."

"I am not complaining. Simply resting," she tried to sound commanding. But he could hear the barely contained laughter in her voice. _Must have seen her bra_.

"You are going to have to get that down before company comes over."

That did it. She lost it. Her body shook as she was overcome with a serious case of the giggles. John soon joined her, she gave him a playful punch on the shoulder, "You mean you need to get it down. I believe you were the one who threw it up there. And what company?"

"I thought we'd have Rodney and Ronan over for dinner. Kind of a we're alive…yeah celebratory feast."

"Okay. That does sound nice," her expression got thoughtful. "But…"

"Yeah about that. Rodney kinda knows already."

"I figured." That was it, no surprise, anger, just quiet acceptance.

"You don't seem…," he let the half statement hang.

"I meant, I figured you had told him. He is your best friend is he not." They both knew it wasn't a question.

"That my love, it a secret you will take to your grave," he said with mock annoyance.

"Of course."

"But that does bring up a problem," He ran his fingers through her disheveled hair. "How do you want to handle this. Secret or no."

She remained quiet.

"Rodney already volunteered to speak for us.' He gritted his teeth, "He's a good friend." It felt strange being so honest about things like that . _Things I never thought I'd tell anyone_. But it also felt comforting.

"Yes he is. I think for now we do not need to advertise our relationship. It is no one's business but ours and that of our friends. I do not think we should hide it either but…

"I get that, we'll deal with the whole dating someone you work with thing when we have too."

"Exactly. Let's just take Dr. Weir's advice and enjoy our leave."

"I like that way you think," he kissed her quickly on the nose.

"You know, it is strange. I am not saying I enjoyed our experience on the Kitchak home world. But if it had not happened..'

"We wouldn't be here right now," John finished.

They looked at each other for several long minutes, taking in the horrors and joys of the past weeks.

John pulled her against him until they were almost one body. He pressed his mouth to her ear, "Maybe we were meant to be taken prisoner. Maybe…it was fate."

She pulled back slightly and cupped his face in her hands. "If those days were meant to bring us together, then it was all worth it."

John felt tears leaking out of his eyes spilling onto her hands. _I'm not worth that much_. "Teyla…"

"I love you. You love me. We just needed a nudge to get here."

Words left him. Instead he poured every ounce of his love for her into one hell of a kiss. After he could breath again he found he knew what to say.

"We're here now."

"Yes," she rested her head on his chest. "We are."

And they weren't going anywhere.

the end.

PS: Thought I'd leave what happened to the bra to everyone's imagination.

Thanks to everyone who reads this, enjoys it, and let's me know. I appreciate everyone's kind words. It's why I write.

nicole


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